Living under the bundle of expectations

Reposted from my blog for Times Of India Digital Edition,

Recently, I had to start psychotherapy, because of the stress of things that I had been feeling lately. Too many changes in life suddenly, and no one to turn to sometimes does that to a person.

Something that my therapist said struck a chord. She said that is important to have boundaries. Boundaries that I need to define myself for my good. Whether it be my husband, family members, friends, or colleagues, the boundaries that we create are for our own good. And not a single person controls it.

We usually live to please others. Before taking any decision, the first thing that we think about is not the practicality of it, but of how society will take it, and what they will think about it.

We live under the expectation, obligations, and assumptions of the other person, killing our own dreams and wishes. Nothing breaks our own heart, unlike the expectations we set of others. From the school time, where parents has control over the subjects that a child chooses, to the say of the partner that a person wants to marry, there comes a whole bundle in between of many wishes and dreams, which is expected to be fulfilled by somebody.

For once, let’s free ourselves from the mental cage that we have created. The thinking and overthinking for the sake of others, the second-guessing of every step to please others, and the pressure of doing things that we really don’t want to so as not to hurt others. They blame nobody for the decisions that we take, then why do we live under the expectations of others?

We get only life, and if we live it under the weight of others’ wishes, do we actually live it?

Get on that bus to visit the place you always wanted to, write the book you have always thought of, and express yourself to the person you have always liked. Do it right now, because there is no such thing as tomorrow.

The choices we take, defines us. And the boundaries we set, frees us.

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